FCCS News & Insights

Leadership Begins Before You Speak

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Before we introduce ourselves, contribute an idea, or lead a meeting, people are already forming impressions about our credibility and confidence. They notice how we carry ourselves.

At June’s FCCS Village Summit, I opened with a story that’s more than 20 years old because the message has never changed: Leadership doesn’t begin with our words. It begins with our presence.

Years ago, after my family moved from Baltimore to Portland, Oregon, I attended a fundraising luncheon to support all-girls education. The keynote speaker was Sally Ride, the first woman in space. The emcee was Julie Emry, a well-known local TV news anchor.

The downtown Hilton ballroom was filled with 700 women, happily (and loudly!) catching up with friends. At 11:59 a.m., Julie walked to the podium and said, “Welcome everyone. We have a great program for you today. Please quiet your conversations so we can get started.”

The room didn’t miss a beat.

Thirty seconds later, she tried again. No luck.

Then, precisely at noon, Julie smiled and said, “You know, last week I went to my hairdresser...”

The room instantly went silent!

She continued, “I said to Rob, ‘I’m ready for bangs!’ And Rob said, ‘Julie, I’ve wanted to give you bangs for three years. Let’s do it!’” Then she stepped away from the podium, opened her arms to the audience and asked us, “So... how do you like my bangs?!”

The room erupted with applause. From that moment on, Julie had 700 women completely captivated.

We want people to evaluate us based on our intelligence, experience, work ethic, and accomplishments. Eventually they may.

But first, they notice us.

Researchers at Princeton University found that people begin forming impressions of our competence, trustworthiness, and even likability in one-tenth of a second. The question isn’t whether first impressions happen. The question is whether we manage those impressions intentionally.

That afternoon, Julie Emry reminded us that presence isn’t vanity. Presence is communication.

Many people think executive presence belongs to C-suite leaders, public speakers, or those with impressive titles. It doesn’t. It belongs to all of us.

Every day we communicate confidence before we say a word. When we walk into a meeting, greet a colleague, introduce ourselves, listen without interrupting, or simply sit up straight.

Leadership is communicated in hundreds of small moments.

Before people hear our ideas, they notice our posture. Are we sitting tall or slouching? They notice our facial expressions. Do we look approachable, distracted, disinterested, or annoyed?

My friend Mark once told me, “When I was in college, people would ask, ‘Are you OK?’ I’d say, Yeah...why?’ They said, ‘Because you look mad all the time.” He had no idea. Of course he didn’t know. None of us can see ourselves. I call that expression a “nasty resting face!”

People also notice whether we make eye contact or look past them, scanning for someone more important to talk to. Those nonverbal signals answer an important question: Can I trust this person?

Those same behaviors also communicate respect.

Here’s the Golden Rule of The Confidence Project: “Treat everyone as if they are the most important person in the room.” Because they are.

Sometimes leadership looks as simple as putting away your phone, listening with genuine curiosity, or looking someone in the eye. (If it’s tricky for you to make eye contact, here’s a TV news trick: Look at the bridge of their nose. It’s a great fake!)

Those small behaviors tell people they matter. And when people feel they matter, they trust you. And when you see value in other people, they often begin to see value in themselves.

There’s another fascinating aspect of presence: how we present ourselves also affects how we perceive ourselves. It’s the psychological phenomenon researchers call enclothed cognition, the idea that what we wear influences how we think, feel, and perform. Think of it this way: We feel differently in sweatpants than we do in our favorite dress or blazer.

Research tells us one story. Seeing it happen in real life makes it real.

Several months ago, I had a catch-up coaching session on Zoom with a former client. As soon as we turned our cameras on, she said, “Wow, you look really nice. What are you doing today?”

I smiled and said, “I’m meeting with you!”

In that moment, her whole countenance changed.

She sat up straighter. Pulled her shoulders back. And smiled. Then she said, “Thank you.”

Later, I thought, “Of course I dressed up professionally for her. She deserves it.”

But enclothed cognition benefited me as well. I felt focused, ready to support her, and more confident because I had dressed intentionally.

Leadership isn’t something we switch on for conversations, important meetings, or presentations.

It’s something people experience every time they interact with us.

Whether you lead a team or contribute as an individual, people are learning from the way you communicate. They’re learning how to listen, show respect, build trust, and carry themselves.

Invest in your own growth, and everyone benefits, including you.

Every one of us is a leader. And every day, through our words, our presence, and our actions, we influence the people around us as we communicate and carry ourselves with confidence.

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Tracy Hooper, renowned author, speaker, and coach, was the keynote speaker at the 2026 Village Summit. She leads The Confidence Project and has helped hundreds of professionals achieve their potential through confident leadership.

For more information, visit www.confidenceproject.com.